Dying To Be Thin | Kirsty Akaal

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Tag: dying to be thin

Anorexia – I Almost Exercised Myself To Death

[powerpress] Anorexia, particularly Sports Anorexia is an eating disorder that started in her teens. Robyn Baker describes her journey to…

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I have to pinch myself that this is work. Or as I

I have to pinch myself that this is work. Or as I used to call it furk. Fun and work combined.
I never imagined this would be my life. Creating content in beautiful natural light, barefoot, like a fairy out here creating magic for myself in this moment.
FU + RK. Fun + Work = FURK.
This is what happens when you stop performing productivity and start creating from what’s alive in you.
This is alignment. This is nervous system capacity. This is what it looks like to come home to yourself and let your work meet you there.
#FURKlife #CreatingFromAlignment #WorkAndPlay #AlignedLiving #mexicolife

The Spiral Returns: Integrating the Brave Truth-Te

The Spiral Returns: Integrating the Brave Truth-Teller I Used to Be

I spent this weekend watching old footage of myself on stage. Hours of it. From years ago, before everything shifted.

I was a truth-teller then. Unfiltered. Brave in a way I haven’t been in a long time. Willing to say the unsayable. To stand in front of hundreds of people and speak about herpes, trauma, shame, the things we’re not supposed to talk about.

I watched that version of me and felt two things at once: deep pride, and a quiet grief for the part of myself I’ve been holding back.

Because the truth is, I pulled back. Not consciously at first. But the repressed memories came flooding in right before one of those big truth-telling events, and something severed in me. I stepped off the stages. I went quiet. I did the deepest healing work of my life but I did it in private.

My partner said something to me recently. He called that version of me a warrior. And he’s right. That version was willing to do the thing before she was ready. She put herself out there in a big, loud, unpolished way that I’m still not sure I’m ready for even now.

But here’s what I bring now that she couldn’t then: groundedness. Softness. A willingness to go inside and do the kind of healing work she didn’t have the capacity for yet.

The two of us, the brave truth-teller and the grounded healer together? That’s integration. That’s coming home. That’s the medicine.

Someone said to me: it’s like you’ve come to the center of the spiral. There’s an ending and a beginning here.

part two in the comment below 👇 #awakenyoursoul #awakened #healing #holistika

When you’re ready to put yourself out in the world

When you’re ready to put yourself out in the world in a bigger way, if you’ve done the inner work, this becomes your sacred process.

It’s not hustle culture anymore. Not 14-hour days, seven days a week. This is work in a deeply therapeutic, healing way for your heart, mind, body, and soul.

You need to work with your nervous system. You need to trust that it’s not just editing, not just posting content. It’s a deep inner process.

I do a bit of work, then step back. Come out to the garden. Process. Integrate. Journal. Reflect. Look at the deeper layers of healing happening within the work I’m creating.
Because I know that healing gets infused into the work I put out in the world.

This is integration. This is what it looks like to create from alignment instead of exhaustion.

Give yourself grace. Give yourself space. Your work is your healing. And your healing is your work.

#CreatingFromAlignment #IntegrationWork #NervousSystemCapacity #SacredWork

Going into #MexicoCity is always one of my favorit

Going into #MexicoCity is always one of my favorite things. What city do you love that? Takes you back to some great memories of a time you had their.

And who’s been to Mexico City? It’s like Spain and New York had a baby in my opinion.

#cdmxlife #expatlife #movingtomexico

I was watching old footage of me on stage years ag

I was watching old footage of me on stage years ago. Truth-telling. Unfiltered. Brave in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. I’ve been doing deep healing work in the quiet. Grounded. Soft. Going inside in ways I couldn’t back then.But I also pulled back. I stopped stepping into the bigness. I held back parts of my truth.Now I’m integrating both.

The brave truth-teller and the grounded healer. The one willing to be seen before she’s ready and the one who does the deepest work in private.I’m not starting over.

I’m beginning again but with depth, wisdom, and years of integration behind me.The medicine is me. The work I’ve done.

The truth I’m ready to release in a new way.This is what coming home to yourself actually looks like.

how about you have you ever experienced this moment in your life?

#IntegrationJourney #TruthTeller #ComeHomeToYourself #HealingInPublic

This is how I’m working today. From the hammock. R

This is how I’m working today. From the hammock. Regulated. Aligned. Living from my purpose.For so long I thought it had to be hard. That I had to hustle, push, drain myself, wear burnout like a badge of honor.Now? I create content in the hammock. I work in the backyard. I share what’s alive in me, not what I force myself to produce.Much less doing. More being. Much less pushing. More flow.This isn’t lazy. This is nervous system capacity. This is what integration actually looks like when you stop performing productivity and start living from alignment.The capable ones don’t need to prove their worth through exhaustion anymore.How can you do this for yourself today? Take your laptop to the cafe. Take a meeting on a walk. Let your work meet you where you’re alive.#WorkFromFlow #NervousSystemCapacity #AlignedLiving #BurnoutRecovery

Dragged back under… thats what it can feel like so

Dragged back under… thats what it can feel like some days. It’s Monday morning & I was ready to hit the ground running! Watch out world.

Then a call from a family member needing support and I´m right back there. With my own stuff that intersects theirs. I could be frustrated, triggered, flooded…but I have been here enough times now to know better.

To know that I need to take a pause, the plans have changed for the morning. Regulation and nurturing is what is needed and has to take priority.

So I rearrange my morning. I take the space I need.

Then I will be ready to take on the world but for this moment, its time to meet myself where I am. With what the universe has brought to my door, ready for me to process. Another layer of the onion.

I trust my process, I trust life. I trust there is a reason, a readiness.

How about you? can you trust what is here, with full surrender...?

K xoxo

#posttraumaticgrowth #embodiedhealing #trauma #dissociation
📸 @michellevdijk

Healing Is Not Linear…This was so hard for me to u

Healing Is Not Linear…This was so hard for me to understand in the beginning. If you are on a healing path let me remind you, healing is not linear.

There will be moments where you feel strong, clear, expanded. Then suddenly something surfaces again. A memory. A reaction. A flashback you thought you were finished with.

And it can feel like you are going backwards.

You are not.

From my own experience, this is how real healing works. Layers reveal themselves when you have the capacity to meet them. What surfaces next is not failure. It is the next layer asking to be integrated.

My old default hustle & strong & capable behaviours tried to do healing the same way at 1st. We can often think we should be done by now!! But healing is not about reaching a finish line. It is about expanding your capacity to meet ourself more honestly each time something arises.

So if you find yourself back in something you thought you had already worked through, take a breath.

It does not mean you are broken.
It means there is another layer ready to be seen.
Have you felt experienced this? who´s been frustrated to be back in it?
#HealingJourney #NervousSystem #InnerWork #comehometoyourself

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