Self Loathing | Kirsty Akaal

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Tag: Self Loathing

Self Love – Learning To Love What’s Difficult in Yourself Will Change Everything

[powerpress] Self love and self acceptance is something Peggy O’Neill struggled with for many years due to low self esteem.…

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MEDITATIONS & SOUL WORK

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We took a few vacation days and stayed home. Somet

We took a few vacation days and stayed home. Sometimes it’s so much nicer than using all your energy on planes and travel and airports to just have a few simple days at home. There is a beautiful Laguna Negra that we had only been to once before and we decided to go and spend the day there yesterday. And it was so peaceful.

My ADHD brain really requires days off devices and groundedness, some tree hugging or being with a body of water and the people that I love.

As I get older and more aware of myself and how I work I really make time for this so that when I need to work, I can be super productive.

How about you? What do you find important as a way to reset and recharge?

Feel free to post a photo from your weekend.

Kx

#rechargeyoursoul #resetyourmind #adhdinwomen #adhdadults #restore

I saw a post where someone asked what would you do

I saw a post where someone asked what would you do? How would you spend your time if you had just one day on earth and people said they’d go to Paris or New York and all kinds of wild crazy adventurous things and …

I thought to myself I would gather a group of my closest friends, and I would hang out in sacred ceremony and ritual in a beautiful place in nature and connect deeply.

Then I realized after I’ve said that that that was exactly what I had created for my 50th birthday that was coming up at the time.

I had initially had big plans and thought that I would travel and in the end I kept it simple and intimate and it was exactly what I needed.

We stayed local close to where I live in this beautiful property on the water and it could not have been more magical.

It was one of the best four days of my entire life. So grateful to everyone who made it extra special. Here are a few moments from the 1st evening.

Highly highly recommend if you have a big event birthday or celebration coming up and you want to get together with a group of your friends reach out to me and we can speak about putting together a tailor event with ritual and ceremony and sacredness. My guests all said to me that they felt like they’ve gotten to have a four day retreat and it was such a gift to them.

I chose the song here, comes the Sun because after decades of healing work and trauma, the sun has finally arrived at this decade in season in my life. I am in love and I am loved by so many and so supported I can’t wait to see what’s ahead for the next 50 years.

Kx
#50 #retreat #sacredcelebration #sacred sacredrituals

I wanted to bring you in close and share an art pr

I wanted to bring you in close and share an art project I started for my 50th birthday. It’s been a few months and I haven’t gotten around to sharing the finish product but here’s how it started out.

Just days before my birthday at the last minute, I felt called to create an art project that my friends could also collaborate with. Just what I needed to put extra pressure on me before the big event :-0

I started it off and they finished it. I will share with you tomorrow the complete project. It is a sacred work of art that became a living prayer and an offering that lives in my home, connecting my past and transmuting it …with the fire in the center of the painting into healing and love and light and my future.

In these videos, you can see some of the creative process. I had never taken on an art project of this scale and size on a canvas and I learned so much, but it was difficult, challenging and frustrating at times, but I am so beyond grateful that I push through and trusted my instinct because I wasn’t sure where it was going or how it was gonna look.

Luckily I had some brilliant creative artistic sisters Madeline AbczyxMegan Taylor that I spoke to about it, and they gave me some incredible guidance of the concept & what products I needed to be able to make it work the kinds of glues because I had a lot of heavy objects that we’re going to be stuck down that were 3-D coming out of the canvas.

in the beginning, I was wanting to do a butterfly that would be transmuted, but somewhere along the way the vision shifted and i connected with the idea of a FIRE 🔥 which having multiple burns through my life starting at 18 months is something that is in my lineage and ancestral ties.
Story continued in the comments below…

#artthérapy #arttherapylife #healingthroughart #sacredprayer #laboroflove

The Soul Instinct!!!! @iambeadixon founder of @the

The Soul Instinct!!!! @iambeadixon founder of @thehoneypotco is a FORCE OF NATURE! And her new book THE SOUL INSTINCT is a must read, though personally I recommend listening to it as she reads the audiobook. It is a transmission encoded to activate you and download beautiful codes.

She weaves running a multimillion dollar company (built to $400million) and the story of that growth from making the product in her kitchen. With ancestral medicine and what feels like dreamtime stories. This book is potent and profound, and will touch your own soul, and help you to remember the truth of who you are and the power that’s within you as well.

I got to spend some time with the leadership team at Honeypot and it is a company unlike any other you truly do feel the soul in it & the family.

Bea spent time with me in Mexico in retreat working with breathwork, regression, ancestral medicine and plant medicine processes. It was one of the most sacred experiences of my life as a guide. I am deeply honored she shares this moment with her readers. I love her to the moon and back and am so beyond inspired by all she shares in the world in this book as a warrior, sister and truthteller.

Some of my favorite quotes from the book of Bea´s.

🙌Don´t eat the EGO FOOD!

🔥It’s possible to do good work in the world and still make a profit

🦋It’s wild to me that I find it easier to create a business plan and trademark than to sit with the person I’ve been my entire life and truly get to know her.

💗The journey back to self is the greatest love story. (YES!!!!!!)

🙏🏻Pray for me as I learned to sit with myself. (I will, for all of us)

It is FULL of wisdom and soul gems. Take a listen or read & absorb some of her ancestral medicine codes, the story of her healing journey & her business wisdom.

Beatrice, you should be truly proud of the Medicine that this book is & the healing and teachings that it will provide so many.

I love you sister. kx

#thesoulinstinct #beatricedixon #thehoneypot #ancestralmedicine #soulwork

I miss you Ana… at least once a week, I find mysel

I miss you Ana… at least once a week, I find myself starting to text you something…

Something funny, something I’m doing, something you would have appreciated…

Then I remember you’re not here anymore.

Not in physical form anyway.

It’s your earthly birthday today but now you’re amongst the stars.

When I remember you’re not here. That I can’t text you…

Instead I stop and think of you for a moment.
My phone reminds me of you constantly.

Bringing up memories. Photos of so many great moments and adventures.

I smile fondly when they pop up. Like a kiss from the universe or a lil nod or wink from you.

I think you must be having the best time. You always loved to philosophise about consciousness and energy and now you ARE. I bet you’re loving it.

I hear you telling me NOTHING MATTERS after one medicine journey where you had this huge epiphany. Now I hear you laughing. I told you so.

At the time I thought I understood what she meant. I understand it differently now.

When Ram Dass and teachers like him say nothing matters, they aren’t talking about giving up. They aren’t asking you to stop caring.

They’re pointing beyond all the things we get caught in and think we have to hold together.

How we look. Whether we’re doing enough. Getting it right. Being liked. Being chosen. Keeping everyone happy. Holding it all up so nothing falls apart.

None of that is actually the point.

What they mean, what Ana meant, is this…
the things we spend so much energy trying to manage and perfect aren’t what matter most.

It’s what’s underneath them.

The love that’s there without needing to earn it.
The part of you that’s still, whole, and untouched by all of it.

From where she is now, I imagine it all makes perfect sense.

You were right, Ana.

Nothing matters.

But love.

I love you. I miss you. I can’t wait for that long chat.

#grieving #ramdass

All my love, k xo

I had a dream last night where the word hallelujah

I had a dream last night where the word hallelujah appeared three times. Not a word that I’m typically familiar with.

Then I met someone I n the dream and recognised them through it. She was singing it, or speaking it… I just knew it was connected.

This morning I sat down in front of a piece of artwork, the one I meditate with… and right in the centre are the lyrics to Hallelujah. I hadn’t even realized that I had printed them out and made them a part of the art.

It stopped me.

Just a quiet, undeniable feeling of being shown something.

This week I’ve been listening to Ram Dass speak about devotion, about kirtan, about opening the heart… and I’ve found myself coming back to singing in the mornings. I found myself coming back to the Mat back to my practices back to singing, which is my way to Konekt to devotion.

When I later looked up what a dream like that could mean, the essence of what came through was this:

Not everything is here to be solved. Some things are here to be honoured.

Hallelujah isn’t about everything being perfect.

If you think about the feeling of the song Hallelujah, it’s not light and easy. It’s raw. It holds grief and beauty in the same breath. It says: even here… even in this… there is something sacred.

And for me, it felt like a clear reminder.

Come back to devotion.
Come back to practice.
Come back to what opens the heart.
Come back to what is sacred.

Do you love to interpret your dreams? Do you pay attention to when the universe is nudging you in a direction or giving you signs?

and of course now I’m gonna sit and sing hallelujah

Kx. #kirtan #halleluja #ramdass #devotion #dreammeaning

Just 10 minutes can make all the difference in the

Just 10 minutes can make all the difference in the world. If you are feeling heavy, if you are feeling tired if you’re feeling stressed instead of swiping and doing all the things that don’t help.

Sit down, put on a guided meditation or some mantras and reconnect to yourself, to your center, to source.

Sometimes I forget this myself, but whenever I come back here, it’s such a reminder of how quickly we can come back to peace and joy, and just a general remembering that when we’re in the busyness of the world or the matrix, we start to forget.

Save this as a reminder and let me know if you’d like me to send you a link to some of the playlist I have for meditations or mantras.

I love to journal the reflections that come up in these moments, which are also wonderful reminders for the days that we need them.

All my love today Kx

#mantrameditation #chantingmantras #healingfromwithin #regulation

Here is an excerpt from my new websites about page

Here is an excerpt from my new websites about page. Feel free to take a look around the site and I would love to hear your thoughts. kx

MY STORY

As a global speaker on courage, I built a high-performing life of achievement that looked powerful from the outside.

Inside, I was deeply disconnected from myself.

For fifteen years, I stood on stages teaching vulnerability while unable to see my own blind spots.

I thought that because I could speak about shame, I had moved beyond it.

I thought success meant I had finally arrived.

I hadn’t.

When burnout and repressed memories surfaced at 40, the glass wall shattered.

The high-flying life I had built on hustle began to unravel. It wasn’t just burnout. It was the realization that survival had required me to leave parts of myself behind.

I traded stages for silence. Spotlights for ceremony. Spraggon for Akaal.

I stepped away from constant performance and into integration, a sabbatical in Mexico that became an 8-year initiation into the deeper work of healing and embodiment. Into the body. Into truth.

Somatic healing in the mountains. Plant medicine. Breathwork. Regression. Deep Inner Healing & Trauma Informed Studies.

I learned what no stage ever taught me:

Trauma isn’t just what happened to you.

It’s the moment you learned it wasn’t safe to be yourself.

To survive, we learn to perform.
To perform, we put on masks.
We live in our heads because our bodies don’t feel safe.
We call it strength. We call it success.

But we never truly lose who we are. We just forget.

Trauma disconnects.
Healing is reconnection.
Awakening is remembering.

This is the journey. This is the work.

read more on my website www.kirstyakaal.com

#healing #awakening #trauma #myownstory
@michellevdijk 📸

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